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Because sex is so much more easily attainable for women – or so the conventional wisdom goes – they have luxury of being able to define the standards which men must meet, wantonly cutting off men who are not rich, tall douchebags with square jaws and fast cars.

Men feel helpless; they feel that they are forced to leap through hoops in order to win women’s approval and hope that she will pick him against all odds. In fact, not only is the idea that women somehow control all the power in sex and dating not true, but it’s a case of people asking the wrong question.

They were laughing at our vanity, how we got played, and the mercenary and cold nature of the women who approached us. Jakarta, like so many other global metropolises, is a place where people come to chase their dreams. The global financial crisis drove us both back to our home countries. We went back to either small towns or small corners of big cities. In vain, we tried to hit the local bars, replicating in our mind what were the successes of the previous decade. The Tao of Steve suggested there was a technique to the whole thing. We delved into the Internet and discovered an entire corpus of teachings on how to get babes, starting with You Tube with titles like “How to land the woman of your dreams.” Certain themes emerge from these Douchebag coaches.

Many of the girls we thought adored us were simply looking to trade up what they thought was a piece of the American or Australian dream after years of conditioning by movies and TV. Most of it you could’ve got from your Uncle (if you were lucky enough to have a functional one): be confident. Be chivalrous, even if feminist websites like tell you it’s dead and chauvinist.

Men have to compete in order to win her approval while a woman gets to pick and choose who she wants based on whatever arbitrary standards she feels like in the moment.

To start with, there are plenty of women out there who aren’t rolling into a bar and rolling out with a bedmate.

Besides, these younger men usually have little reason to stray.Meanwhile, the younger man is still in a stage of robust sexuality and more apt to explore his desires with a currently open and willing partner.These two factors create a powerful chemistry between the two." Watch Your Insecurities.Beyond such self-obvious platitudes were a plethora of little schemes, stratagems and tricks that ultimately just failed badly.My buddy in DC tried the tricks at bars and nearly had security (doormen) called on him multiple times.

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